you don't believe that this was fate? that regardless of the decisions we made, that we would have ended up here? do you really believe that every independent choice we made set us on paths that would have been there regardless? that we personally designed the course that has lead us to this moment?
what if i hadn't been in the store that day two years ago? what if you hadn't seen me or stopped me to remind me of the feelings i had for you so many years ago? what if you had actually allowed yourself to lose my email address? what if i had moved to los angeles when i was supposed to? what if i hadn't stayed in utah, so i could accept that first invitation to lunch? what if i hadn't called you when i had lost control of my decisions, and what if you hadn't found it endearing.
you did. i did. and now we do. but each of those instances held so much power, that i'm not sure only you or i could be left in charge of them.
i believe this is what fate looks like. i was fourteen when i first adored you. and now, ten years later i'm standing in front of your house, with my lips pressed against yours, and wishing you could pull me in so close that i might become a part of you. these moments are more than i could have asked for; so much more that i could never take credit for the decisions that were made to bring me here. this has to have already been laid out for us, written in the stars we saw every night for those years we lost sight of each other. i can't believe that this isn't just how we were meant to spend this time, regardless of the little decisions that came in the in between.
for me, it's too big to take credit for.
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