eleven.twenty

this week's favorite things...

every night has its dawn

i see you all the time. i talk to you every day, and yet it doesn't feel that way. we're together, but you're worlds away. i don't like this. i want you to come back.

i can feel you next to me, but i'm all alone. i know you're broken, that there are so many pieces shattered in so many directions that you can't help but follow a routine that keeps everything around you clenched together. i understand you're holding on to a lot, just to ensure that nothing falls to shatter on cold floor boards. but i'm standing here with open arms. i am strong, and might be patient if you give me the chance.

but right now i feel like an invasion. like something you don't have space for; an unwelcome gift you can't return.

for me, this wasn't in the plan. i didn't mean for it to happen. i never could have forecasted caring for you in this way. but you opened a door and curiosity lead me through to the other side. and now here i am, in a a grey area where i can't help but pray you won't kick me out, while trying to fight back the feeling that i should leave.

it's now been days. a week exactly.

and i have said my goodbyes. quietly. when you weren't there to hear them. it might not be fair, but you have stopped trying to be there. you aren't here, and you don't seem to care to be. my pulling away is only a response to the void you have been handing me. it's the blah and the fact that you can't stand football, cars, and having sex with me.

if we had a relationship this is what our break up would look like.