he's either a genius or a fucking idiot.
i can't tell.
there is a chance that he is doing everything that i need him to be doing. it has been more than three dates and i would still consider myself captivated. the talking hasn't led to touching which hasn't lead to sex. there has been nothing. no kissing, no lingering of fingers. just two people finding comfort in each other.
we have gone out like what five times now? and it's interesting because while nothing really has happened, i'm still completely intrigued. genius. i haven't wished him to burst into flames, and i know that whatever he and i are doing, it for sure isn't just about sex. genius.
but then lay that down flip it and reverse it and we've been out five times and the most action we've seen has been two longish hugs, and one moment of huge possibility that then faded into nothingness. idiot. have you ever been out with someone so many times before any tangible affection?
there is a chance though, that this is exactly what i have been looking for. he has my attention. it feels like a challenge, which i am loving. i don't feel like he is just in it for the hook up since there has been none of that. he hasn't tried to feed me any sweet talking bullshit. he does actually follow through. and he has some qualities i am pretty into: he's fashion conscious, he's cultured, he likes to travel, he's smart and funny, he has a good job, owns his own home, loves his family and likes to drink.
but does he like me?
that is the big question. i guess he must like me at least a little bit, because he talks about the things we will do in the future, about coming to see me in london, and he calls me out of the blue, and is responsive and thoughtful. and if he really wasn't interested we wouldn't be doing things together like we are, but maybe we really are just in friendzone. which i thought i was fine with. not that it ever felt completly right, but i was willing to make it work until i really saw that there might actually be the space for something more.
wednesday, after we went and saw i hope they serve beer in hell, and we found ourselves back at his house trying to warm up after our walk there was a serious "ok this is when we should kiss" moment. it didn't materialized into such an event. but there was something there, something that made it a little bit harder for me to breathe and started me thinking about ways i might better seduce him. currently the front runners are: an arousing game of simon says ("simon says take you pants off..."), showing up and just simply taking my clothes off, and the old get him shitwrecked and let the "let's take advantage" chips fall as they may...(it worked with moose didn't it?).
as it stands right now though, it seems that he and i are dating while i am outsourcing action, and that will not do for much longer.
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